I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
