Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
