There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
