Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
