Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
