He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
