hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Come on in and take your pants off
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