I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
