my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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