I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
