you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
