standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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