We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
