JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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