Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
