I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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