Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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