Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
