I got chris browned last night
I just cut my nipple shaving
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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