just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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