So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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