You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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