I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
