so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In other news, I just burned my penis
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
