Who did Billy Mays play for?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
