I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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