I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
