chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
