First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
