Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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