I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
