CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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