I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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