I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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