she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
