We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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