he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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