dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
