Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
