Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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