Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
