Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
