pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
only if we run a train.
done.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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