I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she peed on how many people?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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