He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
