I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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