...so i touched it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
