i permit you to call me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So much Jack, so little girl.
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