I wish I only lived at night.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
