dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
