Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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