i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
