well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
operation harelip BJ is a go
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
