Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
