yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
