Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
