a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do vagina's smell?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
