he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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