Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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