am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
