If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
