After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
