Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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