Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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