This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
