Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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