She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
